End of life found

Scientists at the Icelandic university have calculated the end to all life on earth as we know it. The discovery came about as they where researching energy transfer as proposed by the theory of Newton's laws of motion by Isaac Newton.

War tool of the future is energy transfer
The Sept. 2008 money market failure is a result of energy transfer (money) going bad. Money makers have found out that if markets are under a lot of stress, money can turn into binary dust in the pipes of computer cables.

The discovery has got the attention of many scientists. Some studies have taken place and "the results are surprising" said Jona Whaleson, a leading scientist at the Institute of Chaos for Children Entering the Money Market.

Jona went on to say "We have discovered that money is no different from people, it has feelings as people and it hurts under stress." Jona predicts that the money scenario can be used in warfare "A country can be put in to bankruptcy by the people that control the computer cables. On wireless networks, everyone is a target."


Money out of the vaults

To the surprise of bankers, money in their vaults started to disappear as money evaporated in the pipes. A manager of a large investment bank said to Surtur that there was just dust on the floor in his vault, where there was money before.

The speculation at the moment is that governments around the world has issued money with a microscopic computer chip inside is. The chip is said to have a powerful artificial intelligence processor that links to financial markets via wireless network. One government insider commented "the reason for the chip is to make money disappear as inflation rises, this was though to be efficient at the time."

The end of life as we know it

Scientist have speculated that if money is disappearing at current alarming rates, the same thing could happen to people, since they are so similar. Scientist fear that the souls of people could eventually be sucked into electronic networks around the world, thus rendering all humans a zombies because of greed.

Iceland declares war on USA

The Icelandic government has declared war on the US. The reason officials say is the Iraq war and how it came about. It's not so much the war it self, but the idea behind it, they say.

The saga
For centuries Icelanders have been extremely violent people and have gone to war over every idea out there. At viking times they where so violent that it was hazardous to leave a viking alone in a room for more than 30 minutes, or he would beat him self to death.

The vikings gained enemies like shit attract flies. When ever a baby was born, the vikings gained a new enemy. They would have killed everyone in the world if they would have the technology and capacity to do so. They sailed to England and killed the men, raped the ugly women and stole the beautiful woman.

Viking legacy
This legacy has been carried down the family trees over the centuries. Today the violence takes on a different form. It is quite common to see a Icelander drive in his big SUV or pickup truck at violent speeds aiming for a old woman with her shopping bags. This is so common that it has become a huge problem in the capital city of Reykjavik.

Still today it is not safe to leave a child alone for more than 30 minutes or it will start to charge at the walls in the room. The youngest child to have beaten it self to death was only 1.5 years old. The legacy of the vikings is still strong in the Icelandic gene pool, so strong in fact that every weekend people gather at the center of Reykjavik for a huge all out fight. The health care system is bankrupt because of this.

Declaration of war
The prime minister of Iceland Mr. Geir H Hraði made the announcement of war in the prestigious halls of the Icelandic parliament today. In his speech he went over how every idea worth fighting for had been used over the centuries to declare war. He talked about as time had passed, fewer and fewer ideas remained unused as an excuse to go to war. He also talked about how deflation of war ideas over the centuries was a problem for the bloodthirsty people of Iceland, since they needed their violence.

The prime minister ended his speech by saying "We have great respect for the bloodthirsty Americans, they have proven them selfs as a brutal race that takes no prisoners. Over the centuries they have found many inventive ideas to go to war over. Because of they're aggressiveness, ideas worth going to war over have declined dramatically. In 2003 the Americans declared "war on terror against oil," this act was the last war-idea worth perusing, according to our research. Therefore we the Icelandic people, declare war on the USA because they have used up all the legitimate war ideas in the world."

The prime minister was later quoted saying "This is a great day for our nation."

Scientists discover morality gene

The Icelandic firm Encode, a genetics research company, has decoded a fundamental flaw in the human genome. The flaw can be found in a single cell of a cell membrane at conception that goes on to divides it's self and spreads the flaw to all cells of the body.

The gene in question decides the moral balance of a person in it's life. A spokesman told Surtur that the "gene tunes a moral scale for the person to come, before dividing it self and distributing the moral tuning to every cell of the body."

The gene effect
The effect of this discovery is quite profound, say scientists, A persons moral fiber can be tuned even before it develops thought, said a spokesman for Encode. A tuning of this gene at the right moment can almost guaranty a morally just and strong person.

Government environmental advantage
The Icelandic government has already allowed Encode to do a stem cell research in to the matter. In a statement made by the government and Encode, they stated "We are working together to find the solution for future generations," The statement went on to say "The modern man is not equipped to deal with the current environmental problems, we hope to remove that flaw from the future man."

The Icelandic government has taken a defensive position on the matter. The reason is that it sold out to the USA at the Dubai climate summit. The discussion in Iceland has focused primarily on the fact that in order to entice the USA into the environmental path, the breathing air has been made a commodity, as agreed by the two countries at the summit.

The morale for the future
Even today there are oxygen farms in Iceland, ready to sell oxygen to the government for realeafing pollution quotas in other countries. A team of Icelandic scientists has pointed out that in 100 years all wild forrests and coral reafs will be extinct and the only source of oxigen will be through oxygen farms. The scientists say they fear the prospect of charging people for the air they breath.

Scientists find heaven by accident

Scientists at the Icelandic university have discovered the location of heaven.

The discovery came about accidentally when scientists where looking at antimatter from space in a ultraviolet light. They observed the antimatter and recorded the event in a alternative wavelength frequency on to a computer disk.

While observing the content of the antimatter at a molecule level, they discovered that various lifeforms existed inside the matter. They where able to determine that some of the lifeforms resemble Earth like lifeforms, but on a much smaller scale.

Heavenly warehouse

The scientist also found out that the storage method for the lifeforms is highly evolved. They compared the best known compression algorithms known to man and concluded that they where about 0.000001% effective compared to the antimatter storage method.

Concluding theory

The scientists also concluded that antimatter is expanding at an alarming rate and that the physical universe is contracting likewise, being compressed by expanding antimatter. One scientist Mr. Pétur Njálgson was quoted saying "Some of us feel that when antimatter takes over the universe, it will implode into a tiny rock that will explode later into a new big bang." He went on to say "the implications of this are enormous."

Side effects

Two of the scientist taking part in the experiment have fallen mentally ill. They have apparently suffered a extreme case of Schizophrenia. They are not expected to make it through the year. The team leader was quoted saying "Apparently heaven should not be observed by mortals." The resulted recording have been locked in a bank volt and will not be studied further.

Oldest parliament in the world burned down

In the past week since the judge handed down the 27 year sentence to a Icelandic cult leader, there has been civil disobedience all throughout the city of Reykjavik.

It all started on the second day of the year 2008. Two hundred traffic signs where taken down and about three hundred traffic lights broken. 172 people where arrested that night.

On the morning of the third day, the Icelandic stock exchange took the biggest dive that has been seen in any stock exchange around the world. The markets main OMXI index fell 45% midday, but ended up loosing 21%. A analyst was quoted saying “This situation cuts to the moral fiber of our society.”

The forth day started early for many civil servants. Around 5:30AM police and the fire department where called to the oldest parliament in the world (Althingi) because of reported fire. When police and firetrucks entered adjoining streets to Althingi, they where greeted by human blockades.

All in all, the police estimates that there where around 1500 people taking part in the blockades. Around 250 people where chained together at each entrance point to Althingi, six in all. The gathering was meticulously planned said a police spokesman.

It took police about three hours to break through the first blockade and by the time the firetrucks got passed the first blockade and arrived outside the house, Althingi had burned to the ground.

The prime minister was quoted later that day saying “This is a sad moment for the world.”

Icelandic cult leader sentenced to 27 years in prison for slavery

The Icelandic Christian cult Krossinn has been found guilty of enslaving it’s parishioners by an Icelandic court today. The cult leaders have been found guilty of systematically brainwashing it’s followers with a highly effective psychiatric conditioning that, according to the court, has been going on since 1990.

According to the court ruling, psychiatric conditioning took place for over 15 years up until 2005 when the police forced it’s way into the cult’s headquarters to arrest it’s leaders. Apparently the leaders where prepared for invasion, since they had installed various booby traps around the building.

One trap ignited into the face of one Mr. Gunnar Hnjóðsson, an officer off the law, extracting a navy blue colour all over his face. Mr. Hnjóðsson had to take a one year leave of absence because of the incident. Apparently he is still not rid of the entire blue colour from his face, two years later. In a comment made to Surtur, Mr. Hnjóðsson said “I could not leave my home for the first 3 months.” And added “I looked like I’d just taken a part in a Blue Man Group performance.”

According to the ruling, the leaders of the cult conditioned about 200-300 followers to perform various deeds for them, some of whom where to perform illegal acts against state and country. As a consequence, the investigative department of the police department has solved at least 150 previously unsolved crimes, some of them being prostitution.

It turns out that the leaders where just lining they’re own pockets with money while turning they’re followers into criminals. As one follower stated “We have been made to be fools!” While other say “He is still our leader, nothing will change that!” Inside sources informed Surtur about an upcoming demonstration, but were reluctant to disclose any information as to where and when.

Krossinn has about 5000 members that donate 25% of they’re earnings to the religious cult. When asked why people have to give so much, a spokesman for the Krossinn said that they would like to be sure that they’re members where true believers, true believers do not worship money, he added.

Some of the religious leaders around the country have stated that they don’t want to have anything to do with the followers of the cult. Some have even said that they do not want them into they’re church.

The Icelandic government is looking at some tough questions to answer because of this fiasco. This brings into the light the governments sponsorship of religion and religious organisation that have been debated about for many years. The fact that the government was sponsoring the cult with money at the same time the cult members where being brainwashed to act out against the government. The Prime minister was quoted saying “This threatens our core moral fibre as society.